When it came to deciding to try fertility treatments, it was a BIG decision for us. We knew IUI was the cheaper route to go, but we knew it could still be costly. We decided to wait until the 1st of the year so we could put money in a flex spending account and would save a little on taxes. This was still a big deal to us, but at least this way we got the money up front and then it was paid back out of my paychecks over a year. I even asked the doctor to estimate how much a round would cost so that we could plan accordingly. As it turns out the doctor lied or maybe I should say he failed to take everything into account when telling me how much it would cost. This is upsetting...frustrating....the list could go on.
Fertility treatments are a gamble and we knew that coming into it. My hopes were high and everything seemed to go beautifully during our 1st IUI. I just knew it was going to work. Sadly it didn't. We rolled the dice and we lost. My heart is broken, but I know that God has a plan for us and everything happens in his timing. As much as I tried to deny it, I think deep down I knew for a couple of days before it was confirmed that it hadn't worked. I remember "knowing" I was pregnant last time for a few days before I finally broke down and took a test. Although I miscarried very early on, I still remember my body feeling different. I didn't feel like that. Part of me tried telling myself that no 2 scenarios are the same, but I think my head knew what my heart didn't want to believe.
Will we try it again? Yes. I prayed and prayed for months about this before we even decided to try it. In my heart I have felt like this would be the answer. Am I scared? Absolutely.
A few things we have learned:
- IUI is MORE expensive than the doctor tells you it will be
- I have never felt more like a chart with a name on and and less like a person in a doctor's office
- Shots in stomach are not as bad as I anticipated
- Sometimes things don't work out, even when things seem to go perfectly along the way
- Having someone to call or text to who has been through this is life-saving
"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
2 comments:
A few things...
1) I am so sorry that your first IUI didn't work. I remember how terrified I was during our cycle that it wouldn't. It's so hard. :(
2) Our IUI cost $5k - some cost more, some less, depending on your protocol, but yes, they are SPENDY. I was told "around $2k" from my OB (not the RE) b/c he INCORRECTLY assumed my insurance would cover monitoring. When you're getting daily ultrasounds and bloodwork for a total of around $500/day OOP, it adds up quickly. *sigh* I hope you don't feel so blindsided going into this next time.
3) FIND A NEW RE. That is crap that you felt like a name on a chart and that is all.
4) Agreed about the shots. Isn't that crazy that they can seem so normal after the first couple?
5) Hang in there hon - we're all praying for you.
I'm so sorry that your first treatment did not work. :( Don't lose faith - your baby time is coming!
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